A lesson in constant humiliation

Being a daycare worker/baby-sitter sets you up for some very important things. You can learn responsibility by having to take care of someone other than yourself. You learn basic dos and don'ts of children (i.e. if a child says that their stomach hurts, you should translate that into "get me to the bathroom now!"). And everyone I have talked to that has ever had the joy of working with children at a young age has agreed: it is the single best form of birth-control out there. Any kids I have-and my husband- will be working at a daycare. For me, though, there is one over-riding theme I have learned: working with children is a lesson in constant humiliation.
Kids tell it like it is, they don't pick up on social cues and they certainly don't abide by the social norms. They will let you know when you aren't looking your best, they have no problem pointing and laughing at your every mistake and they often embarrass you in public.
One time in particular, I was watching a kindergartner and her brother. They both take golf lessons at Mozingo, so one summer afternoon I drove them out there. Now, the extent of Miss Jackie's knowledge on golf doesn't go past the fact that it involves some sort of club. So when we finally caught up with the group, the kindergartner caught wind of this fact and pounced. had been exercising extreme caution around her all day, because I was aware that she would most certainly berate me if she found out. However, she got out of the cart to set her ball on the tee and she asked Miss Jackie for her iron. I only had three clubs to choose from, so I thought my chances were pretty good. They weren't. I grabbed the wrong club and had to reveal my secret to her. Not only did she laugh so hard that he stopped breathing, but she proceeded to announce this fact to everyone that we passed on the course. Everyone. Every time she said "Miss Jackie doesn't even know how to golf!" to each passing stranger I would just wave sheepishly and push harder on the gas.
I also watched a little girl who had swimming every day. I made it through half the summer before anyone found out that I couldn't swim. After she found out, it was hell on earth. She would eye me every time I so much as dipped my toes in the water. She even talked to one of her swim teachers, the leader of the 1st and 2nd graders, to see if he could add me to the group. When I told her mom, she laughed but came to the conclusion that it wasn't a bad idea. She informed me they do offer orivate lessons. Gee, thanks.
Now, these experiences aren't all bad. They keep me very grounded. It is good for someone to put you in your place every so often. It has also aided in my efforts of self-discovery. There are a lot of things that Miss Jackie doesn't know how to do! And I fear that I have only skimmed the surface. Here is what I have so far-
Things Miss Jackie can't do:
Swim
Golf
Sing
Catch a football
Play soccer
Cook
Whistle